What a sad week of reading-three books that were so bad I can’t even believe it.
Stuart Woods led off with his new Stone Barrington called Black Dog. Book 62, yes 62, in the series. Stuffed full of money, sex, more money, more sex, some criminal stuff happens, then Stone has more sex and there is even more money. Talk about a formula that works-how much money do you get for writing 62 books? More than he can spend; probably just stuffing it into the mattress by this point. My problem with Stone is that every 8 or 10 books, the plot tightens up and the characters show some development and I get a three star read. That little glimmer of what the series could be just sucks me into every new release; and then it’s one star and I’m glad I get them from the library. If I was paying $14.99 for the ebook I would be storming the Amazon warehouse to get my money back. But, if you like predictable, quick reads with familiar characters and plots then Stone is a fun diversion.
Oh, Karen White, you sucked me in with your first book: The House on Tradd Street. I gave that one four big fat stars. It had a few issues but it was so good, I couldn’t wait to get book two from the library. Then I started reading it. What the heck were you thinking with this book, Karen? The characters are suddenly the stupidest people on the planet, the plot had so many twists and all the names are so similar I was lost by the second chapter. The mother had so many possibilities and you played it out just like the formula said: Mellie hates Mom until she learns the super secret paranormal reason why Mom abandoned her 30 years ago, the (not spooky) mystery is solved, all is forgiven, Mellie and Mom are now BFF’s. Stupid. The new female character and her motives were easily figured out, well not by Mellie, because she is stupid. Much like the lackluster handling of the Mother story; don’t even get me started on the “nice” ghost-what a waste of an actually interesting backstory and character. Then Karen throws in a twist with some boyfriend angst that was predictable and didn’t add anything to the plot. Mellie behaves like a teenager and does something way out of character that made no sense and was ignored by everybody so why not just leave it out. Karen White seems to like the time shift in plotting-this gem of a book has two that do nothing to advance the plot other than Mellie noting two weeks have passed, so why are they here? Just leave them out. The cover blurb promises “Elegant, Spooky, Romantic, and Scary”—nay, nay, it is absolutely none of those things. Let me sum up by saying the worst part of the whole entire mess is a necklace that is in a pocket and taken upstairs only to be around Mellie’s neck four pages later. Continuity, much? I had to stop reading and go back and say yep, it’s upstairs so how is it being ripped off her neck downstairs? If it’s magic, cool! But it’s not, it’s just an avoidable error in a long, convoluted mess of a book. One sad little star. How have you kept this going for 7 books, Karen? I will be reading book three because I can’t stop myself from finding out if it’s as bad as this one or ….gasp… maybe it will be even worse-it’s a train wreck waiting to happen.
The last book I read this week was a 99 cent Amazon deal. What a fun cover and the blurb sounded promising: Willow is a witch who runs a coffee shop, there is a warlock and a cat and a mysterious teapot. First, this is not a book, it is 152 pages of drivel. Willow is also the narrator so everything is first person and Willow is a terrible narrator. She drones on and on and on, describing things in her coffee shop and placing her cup on the table, and on and on. If you have anxiety, get this on audio book, the relentless mind numbing pace will calm you down and right into a coma. The blurb promise of a warlock who thinks he’s still in ancient times makes no sense-he was last around in the 1920’s so I guess 100 years ago is ‘ancient’? Maybe if you’re a mayfly. I don’t know. This was just a weird book and it’s part of a larger world of books, so if you have read anything else by Laura Greenwood, you will be familiar with her writing style and the characters so it might make sense to you. Oh, and the cat? Made two appearances and never seen again; so much for that. One star and I can’t believe I paid a buck for this stupid thing-save your money.